Measuring the Cold

+60F - Californians put on sweaters.

+50 - Miami residents turn on the heat.

+45 - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.

+40 - You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesoootans go swimming.

+35 - Italian cars don`t start.

+32 - Water freezes.

+30 - You plan your vacation in Australia.

+25 - Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesoootans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.

+20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further south.

+15 - French cars don`t start, Cat insists on sleeping with you.

+10- You need jumper cables to get the car going.

+5 - American cars don`t start.

 0- Alaskans put on T-shirts.

-10 - German cars don`t start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesoootans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don`t start.

-25 - Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don`t start.

-40 - Californians disappear, Minnesoootans button top button, Canadians put on sweater, Your car helps you plan your trip south.

-50 - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.

-80 - Hell freezes over, Polar bears move south, Green Bay Packer fans order hot cocoa at the game.

-90 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.

-100 -Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.

[Back to Chatterbox]